It was never about the cake, afterall.
No, in that moment —
it was’t about the cake at all, but rather everything that came before.
I flew up to see you on a Friday morning. It was Good Friday to be exact.
Not only was I excited about the long holiday weekend, it was time to be reunited with my long distance love.
Reunited, at last and let the fun week being! There was so much to look forward to: meeting Gracie for the first time, your birthday (and I had the best surprise planned), and everything else.
No, it wasn’t about the cake. It was the anticipation of seeing you and being by your side.
As we got ready to head to Gracie’s equestrian weekend events, we stopped at Whole Foods for a mid morning bite.
I remember just being in awe of the wall of cakes this Whole Foods had. So many cakes! (And at the time I was in love with cake, so my eyes were in heaven, gazing at all the confections.)
I don’t recall getting any cake in that moment — too early in the day for cake, so I passed.
We sat outside and ate our curried chicken salad before heading out to see GG.
No it wasn’t about the cake. I was too busy being excited about the week to come.
The drive to Tryon was scenic…
rolling hills, mountain views, winding country roads.
The kind of roads you get lost in conversation—
the kind where you talk about nothing but everything.
We get to our AirB&B and I am floored by its charm and cuteness. A garage cabin, tucked away in the woods. Private and peaceful. Perfect.
No it wasn’t about the cake. It was too fun getting to our next destination.
As we settled in the evening, we explored downtown Tryon, basking in its tiny town charm trying to find something to eat. And later found an odd IGA grocery to pick up essentials for coffee.
And then finally meeting Gracie a bit later. I remember thinking how tiny she was and how she looked so much like you. I was excited to see her events over the weekend.
No, it wasn’t about the cake. I was exploring a cute town while meeting your daughter.
The next morning, after that aforementioned coffee, we head out to see Gracie’s first event. And I remember touching a horse like that for the first time in my life.
I remember I still had your surprise birthday gift — a custom song for you — that I needed to sneak in. When we got back to our room, somehow I convinced us to relax to lofi music and do some work on our laptops.
The moment you realized what was happening was honestly one of the most priceless moments in life, ever.
It wasn’t about the cake. It was surprising you for your birthday with a custom song that included the line “My Starman came to stay”.
After the weekend events in Tryon, (including random toilets) we make the drive back to the other side of NC to your apartment and get ready for the work week. (Yay for remote work! It truly saved me.)
The work week itself was as predicted, but when you came home from work it was anything but. Sure there were the same food choices and a walk before dinner was almost guaranteed.
But my heart did not need anything more. Just as long as we were together, the ordinary was anything but.
It wasn’t about the cake. I was too busy smiling over the flowers you brought me home after you got off work.
Two days before it was time for me to head back home, we had dinner at Cava. And there was that Trader Joe’s nearby and I suggested we stop in.
I recall that being one of the first times where I felt like even just a grocery store visit could feel like a date. I didn’t want to leave.
Not because I wanted to buy anything but because I didn’t want to face the music of a departure that was looming.
It wasn’t about the cake. I was getting emotional about saying goodbye.
As predicted, when it was time to leave, the day was hard.
I dreaded getting out of bed.
You had already left for work, and I had to get through another day with the remote gig.
I stumbled out of bed to get coffee and sip it quietly, deep in my thoughts.
It wasn’t about the cake. It was realizing how much I hate saying goodbye to the love of my life.
The day went on, and work ended.
It was time to take me back to the airport to head home.
But I remember trying to feel cheery, knowing that we still had a couple hours left, and we could make the most of it.
We felt peckish, so we passed another WHOLE FOODS and thought to grab a quick bite.
Oh, yeah….. I remembered those wall of cakes from the other location and I thought …
Yes, I am getting cake this time!
I get a piece of the carrot cake bar. We sit outside ready to dig in.
You excused yourself to the bathroom for a moment.
While you were gone and I waited in your absence —
everything hit me all at once.
The entire week unfolded in front of me.
I sat there, staring at that cake. Trying to take a bite.
I realized instantly I didn’t even want it.
I wanted the feeling it gave me.
I wanted the feeling I had when we first started the week off together at the other Whole Foods and I saw that wall of cakes.
And in that moment, as the airport departure time was nearing, I wanted one more moment to re-live the week.
I wanted to do the whole week all over again —
the country road drives,
meeting Gracie,
the equestrian events,
our AirB&B,
giving you your birthday song,
walks in the parks,
flowers after work,
a trip to Trader Joes…
In that moment, it wasn’t about the damn cake…. but rather everything the week gave me before —
Love.
Comfort.
Peace.
Hope.
Excitement.
That is what this entire relationship with you has been like, Love.
And I promise, no cake slice can even come close. ❤️
April 2025